Stardust, on the Path to Recovery! :)

So, Stardust saw a specialist on Thursday. They were great. I loved them! Compared to our regular vets, who openly racial profile my cat ("Oh, she's a Torti? Yep. She's going to be a b****." Yes, one of the vets we tried said that; I never went back to that one, but the others said similar things, just not as inappropriately) and seem offended when she doesn't like them sticking something up her butt and tries to fight back (how is she supposed to know that it's to measure her temperature?), the specialists were so respectful. They gave her time, talking to her gently, to come out of her carrier on her own. The other vets? Impatiently dump her out. The specialists stroked her and talked soothingly to her when she got out, giving her time to relax a little. The other vets? Get right to it without even a hello. The specialist would actually talk to Stardust instead of me while working with her, and then back off when she was getting frustrated. The other vets? Well, let's just say that I'm never surprised when Stardust is mad at them. Personally, I don't respect them as much myself. I mean, what kind of animal person can be so egotistical and not take the time to understand the needs and feelings of their patients?! * sigh *

At any rate, the specialists were wonderful. I wish that they were her regular vet! We went over all the information thoroughly, and the main doctor we were working with explained exactly what he wanted to do in detail so that we understood and were comfortable with it as well. They did some blood tests on Stardust, and we scheduled an inpatient appointment for her on Thursday, November 1st.

Since we don't know what caused the stricture, and it's likely that it was caused by the throwing up in the first place, they are going to do a deep endoscopy to not only look at the esophagus before treating it, but into the stomach to make sure nothing is wrong there, or if there is something wrong, we can treat it too so that it's not recurring. Then, they will insert a balloon and fill it with saline solution to inflate her esophagus back into place. :) Neat, huh?

Everyone seems optimistic about her recovery. Oh, and the shadow on the x-ray? It seems that the nurses at the other vet weren't aware that the liquid from the IV they injected would show up on the x-ray. * rolls eyes * Otherwise, the specialist couldn't find anything wrong in the x-rays.

In the meantime at home, if the timing is off with Stardust's medicine, she regurgitates. Otherwise, though, she's only been throwing up really nasty-looking hairballs. So, maybe everything is going to be okay once she's treated. I'm honestly scared that it will be a recurring problem . . . An expensive recurring problem . . . (we're looking at $750 put in so far, not including the services next week) But, I love her. She's my best friend. So, hopefully, she'll be cured and happy in the end!

I have to say, I didn't know people actually read my blogs. I should make more of an effort to write clearly. :} lol. But, to those who have read and been kind and sympathetic and encouraged our efforts, I really want to thank you. It's so endearing to know how many people not only care what happens to me, but what happens to Stardust! So often, people act aloof and try to pretend like animals and nature don't matter in this big world, especially living in the city. It's so neat when the truth comes out. Even our office supply vendor at work has his cat's photo in his cell phone as the wallpaper, as do Jesse and I. =^--^=

Has anyone else had a rough animal experience they want to share here via comment? Go for it!

Stardust's Esophagus is... narrowed?

So, an update on the kitty!

Monday was very traumatic, as you can probably see from my bleak venting. Things are good at work, though. Everyone has been sympathetic and requested to be kept in the loop about precious Stardust. Well, here's the scoop while I'm on lunch break.

When we went back on Monday, they had to sedate her (she's pretty violent with the vet) in order to take x-rays. Illuminique's hubby was kind enough to drive me out to pick her up later, since Jesse was working and wouldn't be able to be there with me. I really appreciate that, especially since I know my conversing skills and nerdiness are probably not quite up to par with his. :} And, I was an emotional wreck. I was trying not to be, but I was, and I struggled to concentrate on what kind stories he would share with me. I'm glad, because some were very good.

When we got there, I got to see Stardust's x-rays. They had said on the phone they hadn't found any tumors or anything, so I was pretty relieved. Just that Stardust's esophagus was narrowed. I thought this meant maybe allergies, or swelling from all the throwing up. I mean, she did throw up for like, three days and nights straight. :( But, the x-rays looked very shocking. They said it was consistent throughout the various shots they took over the extended period, and what I saw was what looked like a tube that had gotten bent or pushed upward with an upside down, v-shaped object or something. What's more weird is that everything between here and there looked pristine, begging the question of how that happened. Even Illuminique's hubby stated that it must have been internal. Not that we're doctors, but it seems like an obvious conclusion. More distressing was the unidentifiable shadow behind everything that seems to have nothing to do with the current problem.

Consequent to all of these questions that the vet knew they would be unable to answer or resolve, we were referred to some specialists. Thankfully, one of them was eager to take on Stardust, and she will be seeing them tomorrow. Also, Stardust has stopped vomiting and has been able to keep food down, most likely due to the barium they used for the x-rays. It's a relief for myself, and most likely for her as well. I had stayed home yesterday while she recovered. Between not sleeping for three days and the tests, she was like a rag doll, barely able to chew once I got the food into her mouth, and even less able to get the food to go down, or stand up on her own to get to the litter box. She's self-sufficient today, which is why I'm at work, but she's looking pretty miserable . . . I wish I could go with her tomorrow, but I have a class. :( * siiigh *

Anyway, so that's the update. It sounds promising. Everyone's been saying that it's treatable, and the vet has been great, already sending over the information for Stardust to the specialist, and Jesse picked up the x-rays today. I probably should have just asked to take them home with me Monday, but I was so out of it. I was just relieved to be taking my kitty home and not having one of those meetings where the vet has to shut the door and you have to make the hard choice. But, even though it sounds promising . . . how can I take for granted the life of my best friend?

Well, I should get back to work. I'm done eating lunch, and I'm going to get back to work early today. Wish Stardust the best.

--Dreamsenshi

Stardust is Ill

There is a particular Russian composer whose music I like to play on the piano because it is challenging and deep, even a little bit dark. Khatchaturian. Admittedly, part of the reason I like his stuff is because his name sounds like "cat" a little bit, and the first song of his I played was "Cat on a Swing."

There was one song in my book of his that I kind of liked, but didn't quite get until today. The song is titled "Liado is Ill." It's very depressing and dark, and thought, "Geez, for being sick, this is a real downer of a song! It's kind of dramatic . . ."

But today, my partner in crime, Stardust, is ill, and I keep crying and crying, and I think, "Oh, I get it now." And, I kind of wish I didn't. It's not that I haven't lost someone I've loved before; in fact it's because I have several times that it's so much harder.

When I met Stardust, it was something really special. Before I even got to the Humane Society, I knew what she would look like, her name, her personality, and that I was bringing her home that day. I was a little dismayed when I didn't see her at first; they had her in a cage on the back counter, possibly because she was scheduled to be put down that day because no one wanted her. I took her home.

The first year was horrible. I got no sleep, she was mean, she scared my guests, and we had a kind of battle for power . . . and then, one day, we both realized that control didn't matter that much to either of us, and what we really wanted was companionship. I'll never forget that day, because it was the first day she ever purred. All those people who said that I spoiled her, that they would never put up with a cat like that, and even called her a "demon cat" couldn't possibly understand the tenderness of our friendship, that we'd stayed close despite everything, and that made us inseparable. We were best friends.

Stardust was there for me when I was the most lonely. Jesse had gone away too college and was too busy for me at the time, and I was living alone in my studio apartment. My only friend in my age group that was really in communication with me lived half-way across the country and then disappeared later on. While Stardust and I weren't as close as ever back then, and we had our ups and downs, we were still each other's family and we counted on each other.

When I moved, I was afraid she wouldn't like it or that she'd want to have stayed behind or her attitude would suddenly change. Instead, what I saw from her when she realized we were moving and I didn't leave her behind was relief. To Stardust, this was the sign for the first time in her life that she would never have to be alone again. I hadn't realized that was why she hadn't opened up to me entirely. She was afraid of being hurt! Go figure! Everyone else had given up on her, until I had come along.

Stardust and I have been best buddies ever since. I don't think anyone else could understand us better, save for maybe Jesse. But, then Jesse and I moved in together to solve both of our dilemmas (getting me out of a bad neighborhood and getting Jesse out of a house far away from everything), and when we both started working full time, she was really lonely. So, we got Tatsu.

I was really worried that Stardust would feel replaced, and once she accepted Tatsu, I thought things would be okay. But, she's been melancholy ever since, even though she enjoys playing with him, and she's wanted more attention from me . . . I've kept a close eye on her, consequently, wanting to show her that I still love her best, but she seemed to still lose a little shine over time. She had gotten sick when he first moved in, but it passed, or at least seemed to . . .

And then, I came home Friday, and there was kitty vomit everywhere. At first I thought that it must be Stardust and Tatsu, and that they had both eaten something bad (usually if Tatsu starts eating it, Stardust will push him out of the way and finish it; it's surprising she isn't fat sometimes). But then, it became clear that it was just Stardust, and she desperately clung to me the whole evening between continuing to vomit. I was cleaning up vomit until 1am, at which time I fell asleep only to be woken up an hour later when Jesse got home.

First thing in the morning, we called the vet and got an appointment. I was relieved by their assessment; they thought the same thing that I had: Stardust has an obstruction. There's no blood in her feces from what we can tell, and she's throwing up the food and water immediately after taking it in. This happens from time to time; he gave us some medicine and told us to use petromalt, which I have, and I felt good, that things would get better.

Stardust threw up less, but she also started eating less, so I wasn't sure if things were going better. I don't feel like she's going to die, but I was really scared, so I tried to curb my fear and wait it out . . .

And then, yesterday afternoon, she stopped eating altogether. Consequently, there hasn't been any vomit, really, but all she does is sit and look tired . . . And the expression on her face reminds me all too much of another cat I used to know . . . Her name was Penelope, and she died from a tumor in her stomach. AHHHH!!!!

So, like the pathetic cat-loving mommy that I'm not ashamed to be, I spent the entire morning crying until I had to call in "sick" to my new boss, leaving her a voicemail explaining that I wasn't coming in because I was horrified my cat would die and I had to take her to the vet. I can only hope that she's not one of those people who thinks that animals aren't sentient or aren't as important as humans are. :b I don't think that she is, but the thought of getting in trouble over this makes me want to punch someone in the face. It's astounding to me that people can look at animals and see nothing when my relationship with Stardust is so strong . . .

So, I'm just venting here. I can't imagine life without Stardust. Well, I mean, when I got her, I knew that if we both lived happy, long lives, which is the goal, then of course I would outlive her. But, it would be okay, because I'd know that she would be happy, that I had kept my promise to her to take care of her and give her a full life. I guess I'm even more upset because this seems to happen a lot. Not just with pets, either! I get close to someone, and they do one of three things: 1.) They stab me in the back, 2.) They disappear for some unknown reason, leaving me to wonder for the rest of my life if I did something wrong or if they were just jerks or if something horrible happened to them that I could have prevented if humans just weren't scared of opening up, or 3.) They die an untimely death. I'm sick of it! It's not fair, and Stardust deserves better! She's such a good kitty! She's so horribly misunderstood, though. * sigh *

Anyway, we've got our appointment now, so I'd better get ready. Ugh. I guess I'll have to follow up later. Hopefully, it will be with good, amusing news or something.

Sayonara.

Overnight Ninja Party

So, on Saturday 8th, 2007, we celebrated Terianti's birthday with an Overnight Ninja Party! Only one person spent the whole night, but Miguel stayed until, like, 5am, so that was pretty darn close! =^--^=

Preparations started the evening before, when I stayed up until 2am doing the preliminary cooking. Here, I've taken some photos of the Shuriken Sugar Cookies that I made! I'm pretty proud of them. Not only do they actually look like shurikens (even though the mold was labeled as a "snowflake"), but they are really tasty! That's saying a lot, because I don't particularly like sugar cookies!

We also had some Chicken Satay (those were probably the most delicious part of the evening, and they were just supposed to be starters!), marinated in ginger, fish sauce, etc. . . . YUM! I will have to make these again! There was also Asian Pork Ribs with an orange sauce that came out really well, and then Teriyaki Noodles, which were a little intense, but tasty when fresh! There were too many leftover, though. Oops. :}

By request, Terinati had me make a dirt cake, on which there are ninjas defending their territory on the rocky hillside of doom and dismal torches against the fierce gummy worms! . . . It was surprisingly tasty, too! Hooray for my first dirt cake!

The party was a success, I think! 10 people, including Terianti and myself, crammed into our one-bedroom apartment, and we watched a video about a Bad Luck Dragon (hilarious!), but for the most part everyone had seen Ask A Ninja (very awesome, very funny), so we only watched a little of that. Aww. Terinati and I will have to watch the rest of it later.

We also found ramune, a popular Japanese soda, and had TONS of it. Shamefully, we have no pictures, but I think they have them on Wiki. VERY yummy! And, they have lychee flavor!

To save Adam from his puppy-like excitement, I conceded to letting Terinati open his gifts early, especially since the viewing finished much earlier than anticipated. Isn't my ninja wrapping job awesome? Thanks, MerchBot, for the awesome stickier-than-ever-before ninja tape! Very ninja-y! And, thanks to FlaxArt for the ninja-thick, black, wrapping paper. Perfect for concealing the surprise gift . . .

Thank you to everyone who contributed to the Wii surprise(Thanks, Dadoo, for being the biggest contributor! It really helped!)! Wrapping it individually worked out perfectly! Hooray! He was surprised, and touched, and much fun was had playing the Wii! The boys rocked out on Red Steel, among other games that Illuminique and her hubby brought over (there was a Wario game that was extremely silly, worth purchasing merely for the amount of giggles elicited alone! Thank you for sharing!), and of course, Wii Sports. I failed to take pictures because I was busy cooking, so I apologize. :( I really should have, but I was pretty beat too. I really have no excuse other than being exhausted and busy. :} But, those who were there can appreciate the sentiment, I'm sure! Also, thank you to the kitties, for keeping the secret with me so that I would not die. :}

Among the wonderful gifts, there were two special things for me. 1.) My dear friend, Kyriel, got to come and visit. Not only did she introduce me to the internet, but she brought my true love and I together. I can never thank her enough for this. 2.) Kyriel gave me my birthday gift early: a copy of Jack and the Beanstalk, the musical, on DVD. No, not just any copy, but the copy of the 1974 film that was released on HBO in the 1980's, when I saw it and recorded it on VHS . . . A VHS tape I had been lamenting the accidental destruction of for a couple of years now, because when I put it in a rewinding machine, it tore it at the beginning of the tape roll, and I thought I would never see my beloved film again. Not only is it a beautiful telling of the story, an anime before animes were anime, and full of childhood memories, but this film is my moral center. Everything I wanted to become growing up, everything that I stood firmly for, roots back to this film. I love it, and I actually cried when she presented it to me. I know, that probably sounds silly, but this movie is one of the rare treasures in my life. We watched it that morning, with Miguel, Kyriel, myself and Terinati, and it was even better than I had remembered, especially since the quality was greatly improved from a decades-old VHS recording that was pretty shabby to begin with.

In the past, if someone would have asked me what I would take with me if the apartment was on fire, I would have said, Terinati, Stardust, Tatsu, and then I wouldn't have known what else. This item would definitely come with me. Thank you, so much, Kyriel. Nothing is more special than a sentimental gift that shows that someone truly knows you, and that gift was that and more. I will never forget it, and I will cherish it forever.

Well, that's all of it! Thank you to everyone who made Terinati's birthday really shine and let him know how loved he is, even if you couldn't be there. I'm so happy that he has so many good friends! :) You are forbidden from changing! EV4R!

Back to the grind for me, now. Take care, everyone!

Secrets... Ooo...

Sheesh. Who would think that keeping secrets would be so hard when it's for a birthday surprise? Terinati's birthday was on Monday, but we're celebrating officially on September 8th, and I've worked very hard to make sure it will be the best party it could be for him because I love him and enjoy seeing him happy. But, dang it, my brain feels like exploding.
Every time I see him, I want to say, "Hey, guess what happened today? blah blah, secret blah blah blah." I keep on just barely catching myself and then standing there awkwardly, feeling like I'm going to explode.
Ultimately, this is a good thing. I mean, we're so open with each other that we're practically the same entity. On the other hand, I can't wait for the 8th to come so that I can spill ALL of the stuff I've been holding back. It's making me CRAAAAZY! * pant * Especially since there's so much involved worth sharing!
What's worse is that I don't even want to tell my friends, because what if they forget it's a surprise and slip up and tell him? That would suck. Not only would I not have gotten to surprise him, but I wouldn't have gotten to tell him myself when I wanted to. :b
So, there's a week and two days left, essentially . . . bleh. Must . . . hold . . . on! * sits on her head * Well, talk another day.

--Dreamsenshi

Legend of the Five Rings

Ahh . . . role-playing. Honestly, I don't get why there aren't more female players. We're totally bred to role-play. We're handed barbies, dolls, and toys, and expected to sit and make up stories on the fly with our best gal pals. The only thing guys do differently? They usually add imaginary weapons and real life dice to the mix, along with character sheets, of course. But really, I love to role-play.

And, I'm shocked to say that I finally have a game I love more than Cyberpunk 2020, which loses its cool with every passing year drawing closer to 2020 in real life. :} Legend of the Five Rings! I thought I would hate it, thought it would be too complicated or macho, but I love the roll and keep system (is it similar to Star Wars? I can't recall for sure . . .), and I love samurai, and I love honor, and I love my character, and I LOVE the story that Jesse is GMing! Honestly, I don't know why I don't dream about it. You'd think that I would, but I don't. Not at all. In fact, I had a weird dream about being in LONDON of all places most recently.

Anyway, I think the thing that separates this game from others is probably so perfectly innate that most people wouldn't even recognize it. D&D had categories for types of people, but they all tended to not get along with one another. Rokugan, the world of L5R, has several clans, and then individual families within the clans, to fit any profile! Any person who loves to role-play could find a place for themselves in Rokugan, from being an underdog ronin, to being an imperial princess, to being a fierce warrior, to being a meek scholar . . . It's fantasmic! I LOVE IT!!

So, as my hobbies come and go, I have given up on the Kitty Island Magazine, which saw no participation after grueling months of doing it all on my own (too much work for no participation), I have instead taken it upon myself to edit L5R (it's actually a project I started a long time ago when I was still distancing myself from the game, but Jesse loved it). There are glaring errors, and so many that one would think that they didn't even bother with an editor. Not only that, but the way that they decided subjects go together made no sense. It's random, flying back and forth in the book, so I'm making it more sensical and increasing the index's population to make things even more easy to find. MWA HA HA! Not only that, but I'm compiling the main 3rd edition source book with the other books we own . . . even though new things are coming out all the time! :D~ Yes, yes, the carpal tunnel does hurt, but that is how much I love this game. And, the more I do it, the more I love the game.

Actually, because my wrists hurt so much, I took a break and am now going back through Tonbo Hoshi's logs (my Dragonfly clan character; minor clan, romantic underdog type - LOVE IT) and creating a database for important things that she would remember that sometimes slip a player's mind. You know, those critical moments when your heart flutters, or those moments when you just want to smack someone, but you don't, because you're a samurai-ko and that's not the bushido way. :} The database is great, detailing tidbits and referencing back to the logs. Oh, yes. There are logs because we choose to play online (even though we're in the same room, feet away from one another) so that the computer can record it for us. Those are the kind of nerds that we are. Or, at least, that I am.

Sometimes, I worry that Jesse will think that he's created a monster, especially when we have so little free time anymore. I GM for him for Cyberpunk 2020, and now he GM's for me, for L5R. We also spend a great deal of time watching Gilmore Girls. We're about to finish season 2. That show is fabulously funny, and unique.

I can't imagine ever not watching great DVDs like this with Jesse, or playing role-playing games. I think those people who brush it off as being nerdy are really missing out! And, you know, role-playing is a bit complicated and takes time to learn the systems to play them smoothly (let me tell you, there were growing pains starting L5R, mostly caused by their glaring errors and unpathed book), but it's one of the most exciting things I can imagine. Even though I like those DVDs, I don't get watching TV all the time when I can play the main character, even if it is for only a couple hours a week. It's an irreplacable experience, and it allows you to see something from someone else's perspective. It's as miraculous as music, to me. Beautiful. I'm so glad my fiance is the type of guy who loves this stuff as much as I do. :)

Okay! Raving OVER! I can't wait to role-play again! EEEEE!

Boredom . . .

I think I have hit the wall with things I can do to keep my mind occupied during the day. I don't know if anyone else has hit this wall, but if you haven't, steer clear of it, 'cause it makes for a nasty crash landing.

This isn't the regular kind of boredom you get waiting in line at the supermarket, or at the bank, or at the post office . . . etc. No. It's far worse. I'm bored of TV, I'm bored of video games, I'm bored of books, and I'm *gasp* bored of trying to recreate myself on a daily basis into a new and better person. To the best of my figuring, it seems that I've not only stopped caring what people think, but stopped desiring so much to be liked by them too, 'cause I'm at least liked by a few really good people, and that's enough for me. The problem is, I don't really want anything anymore.

"How can you not want anything?" I sense you asking, if anyone bothers to read this. Heck if I know! I mean, of course, I think, "Oo, I'd like to own 'Fearless' because if I should ever be crazy enough to have kids, someday I'd want them to watch this, because I think this is something that everyone should understand." (Go Jet Li!) And, sure, I don't want to lose my apartment and am thankful to be able to play role-playing games on the weekend with my fiance and would never take him for granted . . . and, living in a house would be nice . . . but, here's the kicker. I know it wouldn't make me happier. The environment may be better, and having stuff is nice, but material things will not make me happy. And, I don't think forming new relationships will, either. So, maybe a more accurate analysis of my mental state is that I don't know what I want, and therefore don't know to desire it.

The problem with not wanting anything is, beside the fact that something is clearly wrong with me because at the very least I should desire more spiritual development, that I am completely unmotivated. Every day I get up and think, "I don't want to get up," and then I eat breakfast and take my shower, thinking, "I don't want to take a shower right now," followed by not wanting to be at work, not wanting to still be at work, and then kind of not wanting to walk home. All I feel like doing is sleeping. It's bizarre, because I'm not depressed, not sick, and nothing is really wrong either. It's not to say that I don't require improvement as a human being, because of course I do, but . . . there is no motivation to do anything other than dream, and when I do, I just feel more exhausted the following day. ???

Perhaps that's what I need, to just rest for a long time. I can't remember the last time such an opportunity was available to me. Probably in 2002, which is a while back. But when I wake up, then what? Return to the same old thing?

This is more than boredom. I think my spirit is broken, and it's frightening to admit that. Even my fiance can see that in me. So . . . what now? How does a completely unmotivated person heal themselves?

Okay, so I lied. I do want one thing. I want to get better.

Hmm . . . Makes you look differently at cats sleeping all day, doesn't it . . . ?

The Impossible . . .

Most people give up when they think something is impossible. I always knew that was something unique about me, and a few rare others I've met or read about. I don't give up. If it really matters to me, I'll try until the day I die, or until I realize that there's a better or more worthy dream to pursue. However, I still recognize the possibility, despite my effort, that the results will never come out.

I was sick on Monday, and when I finally woke up in my fevery haze, I had a strong feeling to call my dearest friend. But I told myself, "No. I don't want to disturb her." But still, there was this nagging feeling that wouldn't go away. You see, for a long time, I've been trying to make the most important dream of hers come true, supporting her, believing in her, even when other people told me I shouldn't or that it wasn't practical. My faith in her will never be shaken again now that I know myself, and making this dream come true for her could be one of the only things to help turn her life around as it is now. Still, I never thought I'd be able to help . . .

On a whim, I decided to check an old e-mail account that I don't really use, because it came with my internet service. When I did, I was reminded that I had signed up for a certain account that sent me notifications. It had sent several, most of them meaningless, and then I saw one that meant something to me . . . the possibility to make her dream come true has come home at last!

But you know, I've spent so much time dreaming about how great it would be to face this impossible challenge . . . Because I thought it was so impossible, despite how I kept getting closer and closer over the years, I hadn't thought of how scary, how full of anxiety, and how shocking it would be if it actually came down to this. I can barely concentrate at work, because I'm wondering how this will turn out in the end. I keep pacing around my apartment, because I can't sleep or eat, this is such a huge deal. The worst part is, I can't tell anyone about it, and I can't talk to my friend herself because she's too sick. All I can do is send care packages and hope for the best.

It's amazing how facing the impossible feels. And I think, of all the friends and family she had who gave up on her, who didn't believe, who deserted her when they had a better chance at this than I ever did, it makes me upset, too. She had been counting on some of them, even! And now . . . it's in my unworthy hands, only because I chose to believe with all of my heart. Well, I guess it's not over yet . . . But I just had to share the awe I feel of what it's like to do something you thought you would never be able to do. It's as though I've come alive again for the first time in years, as though I was lying dormant within myself, just waiting to be able to spring free for the right moment.

If you have an obvious choice to believe in your friends, or give up on them . . . and you really, genuinely care about what friendship is and means, how precious and special it is, then don't give up . . . At the very least, I think, I wouldn't be so sad in my own life if so many people hadn't given up on me. Even if they didn't have the faith to know it, I knew they were wrong about me, and if they looked hard enough, they would have seen me on a daily basis trying with all my heart to prove that to them. Just my two cents.

And the server goes down!

So, today I got really sick, but I steeled myself and said, "I'm going to work anyway!" I walked the 20-minute walk to work, and I thought that I'd feel better by the afternoon. Nope. I don't know what's wrong with my stomach, but it doesn't seem to be the usual "flu bug" or foodborne illness. :/

Anyway, I struggled through the major projects I had to get done, but by the afternoon I was curled over my keyboard, pretty much immobile from the pain, but determined to cling onto my few sick hours for a "real" emergency. :} So, I started thinking about the forum while I worked, and getting my friends set up on it, so I was eager to get home and really check things out more thoroughly!

When I got home from work, I was miserable. Starving, but couldn't eat, bored, but unable to function . . . Terinati got to the store and brought me back some medicine, and in a matter of an hour or two, I was feeling better! Kind of makes me go, "Huh! Medicine! What an invention! Everyone should use that!" . . . I'm probably one of the few people this doesn't occur to. How much pain could have been saved?! :} Silly me, huh?

Well, then I eagerly got online, excited to read the creative works of my friends and see what they had to say and check my other e-mail, just to make sure I've managed the transferring process correctly to Kitty Island so far . . . only to find that the server that runs my alternate e-mail address and the forum is down. "NOOOOOOO!" And of course, this is the first evening that the mighty Fritzy, runner of said server, hasn't been on IM. * smacks her own forehead! * Probably of no coincidence, but still!

It seems to often happen like this. :} You're expecting a critical e-mail, or something exciting is about to happen, and then someone or something comes in to steal the thunder or crush it into tiny, insignificant bits. I have to wonder how this happens to me, but at the same time, I find it amusing. I guess I just hope that the folks who were interested don't lose interest while we get things back up! Ah well. Every website has problems like this, just not the staff that World of Warcraft has to solve them. :} Have to say, they are pretty impressive! But, then again, that's also all that they do, while people like Fritzy and I . . . well, we have lives and families. ;)

Anyway, life goes on, and the server will be back up in no time, I am certain. :) Just more time to build up anticipation about checking those forums! AHHH!

Welcome . . .

. . . to our oasis. Here, I will share the depths of my imagination . . . and some of that boring stuff from that reality place, too. *wink* Please relax into our world, and get to know me a while.

Sayonara