So much has gone on since my last blog. I don't even remember my last blog.
I had my first real nightmare about things going wrong with the wedding. Despite what most people think, I'm not truly worried about other people screwing up the wedding. I'm pretty sure that Jesse and I are the only ones who can do that, either by not being prepared or by being moody, which would just be a silly thing to do on such a happy day. I'll never figure out why people expect me to get mad at them all the time. Probably something to do with second-order realities mis-matching. :}
I survived my horrible Statistics class with the worst professor I've ever had to date (there's really only two others that I didn't like in my college life, which isn't too bad really), and I managed to get an A- despite her inability to teach! So, HA!! I WIN! 3.93 in Statistics isn't bad when you're teaching yourself everything. I'm very proud of that. That's also my lowest grade thus far, so SNAP! I'm feeling pretty good about school again (Statistics really had me down there for a while).
Now, I'm taking Physiological Psychology, which is exciting! My professor called me yesterday and when I told her how much I loved our text book, she was surprised and told me that most people hate physiological psychology. =^o0^= HUH?! WHY?!! It's so interesting!! Learning about the different parts of the body, what they do (or at least, the various theories for some parts), and how it impacts our behavior! That's important stuff! This isn't just learning about other people, it's learning about ourselves!! How can you not be interested in something that will teach you things you didn't know about yourself?! Baffling! Unthinkable! This class is my most exciting course to date. I can't wait to see what more I can take from it (I'm already almost a week ahead, because I was worried about the hurricane coming this weekend taking out our power).
The wedding stuff has been slow and hard to work on. We're getting down to the finite details now, and that requires time, which I didn't really have for the last several months. I'm behind in a few things, and apparently it's getting to me otherwise I wouldn't be having nightmares about it. But, Terinati's working weekends this month, which means I'll be less distracted during that time and probably get more done. Hooray? :} I'll miss my Sweetie, though.
Speaking of important people in my life, Kyriel successfully moved out here, lived with us a while, got a job, and moved out on her own to a most awesome basement in a most awesome place just a couple blocks down from some stables! I'm really proud of her, and I'm sure she's glad to have her own (sort of) place again. :) Having a full apartment made it seem like I was really busy all the time too. Not sure why, in retrospect. It's nice to live near her again, though. I had forgotten what it was like to have someone who knew my past as well as my present. It's kind of comforting, like having a living, breathing validation that all those things really did happen and aren't just imaginary lore.
As you can see, there have been tons of things on my mind. I can't even blog about just one thing today! But, I think life is good.
It's two weeks until my birthday, and I feel like I've grown so much in the past year. I'm really happy with my progress. It's something I definitely plan on celebrating. Parts of the last couple of years have been hard, especially realizing who my real friends are and learning to be happy that the ones who aren't real friends are gone. The harder part of that is realizing if they crawl whining back (like some of them have before) to not let them. Forgiveness is okay, and I do believe people can change (I've certainly changed a lot!), but I also know that those folks in particular have this view of me that is totally wrong (seems to be fear/paranoia-related, from what I can guess), and they throw it in my face as though it's fact (even though they have absolutely no support when I ask) when they don't get something they want out of me. And, I don't need that in my life. I don't need to be busting my butt to convince someone else that I am who I am! :} That's silly! So, a lot of emotional garbage (and physical garbage too!) has been removed from my life, and it's so peaceful now. Not to say there aren't hard things in life, 'cause there always is, but I feel like I'm more in balance with it. No more crap. It belongs to whomever creates it, now. As they say, "I don't have to take it." So, I won't. Ah, the gift of being able to let go. An important lesson that's taken way too long to learn.
So, that's that. I'll be my crazy self, continuing to worry about doing the right thing, being on time, and finishing stuff in such a way that it's efficient and appropriate for everyone. Wedding, school, work, and so on. I get this feeling that change will be coming my way soon, but I'm prepared to roll with whatever's gonna come. Hopefully nothing dreadful in the hurricane! I hope everyone has prepared out on the east coast! And now, I'm going to go home and daydream about relaxing, happy things! :) Take care, everyone!